Filed under: every day | Tagged: American, bunny, choir, Christmas, gentlemen, god, god rest ye merry gentlemen, holiday, itunes, jesus, juicy planet, merry, Midwest, rabbit, singing, songs, traditional, women, Yummy Yumma | Leave a comment »
In the dream, Sandra Bernhard was holding a red metallic mini-disc recorder. She wanted to record herself remembering her dreams. We knew we were already inside one of those dark mortality dreams, with that “I’m gonna be dead someday” feeling. Sandra and I were both scared, our faces and necks getting hot, like fever. Sandra held the recorder near her mouth, then decided that I should go first. I put my hand on top of hers and brought the recorder close to my own mouth. I wanted to kiss the back of her hand but was distracted by the glossy green stones in every ring on every finger of her hand, each stone reflecting the light that was coming from the end of a telescope she had stationed by the window.
“In the year 2525”, I said, leaning in against her arm, “500 citizens got quite good at switching eyeballs with each other. A Minus 425 nearsight for a Plus 1200 farsight, in diopters, got to be no big deal for them, it was the resulting emotional perception exchange that was the real gamble”.
“Yeah”, Sandra imagined, “my 20-20 for Angelina Jolie’s Minus 175, hardly a change in vision really, except for night driving, I could get by squinting when I had to…but Angelina’s emotional rub…I…no, too packed tight like a snowball in spring…”. Then Sandra clicked off the recorder and wrapped her hands around mine, “Tell me your numbers, darling”. Before I could say just how I thought I saw, footsteps sounded up from the stairwell that led down to the stage where someone had just finished a performance, we could hear the applause spilling over. Sandra and I turned together toward the doorway and waited. We were awestruck, when the footsteps stopped, to see Hillary Clinton there, grinning at us, looking smart in a long red gown that exposed much of her beautiful breasts. In her right hand she was loosely holding a pair of binoculars.
Filed under: lesbian, politic, pop cultures, queer | Tagged: America, angelina jolie, apathy, drum circle, drumming, dumdums, full moon, generosity, hillary clinton, juicy planet, lesbian dreams, nearsighted, numbers, queer, sandra bernhard, vision, women | Leave a comment »
click 4 john mayer douche bag
Fun to read John’s take on the over-used epithet, “douche bag.” We were glad to see a man analyzing it, especially a celebrity so more people are paying attention… But why not take it home and say something about WHY the name itself is used as a negative? The sound made when saying the words, douche bag is phonetically satisfying, but what about what the words mean?
With this single, 2-word name, “douche bag,” a guy can assert both that he knows what a douche bag is, and that he thinks it is a gross thing/stupid thing? He can bond with guys around the twatee factor, and he can demean another guy by associating that guy with a “feminine” item, therefore feminizing and belittling the other guy. The easiest way to put down another guy, is by calling him, in effect, “like a woman,” as if being “like a woman” is a shameful thing to be. The irony is, being “like a woman” really means being like someone who is disrespected, dominated and weakened, through brute force or the fear of force, and socio-economic control.
By the way, women don’t need to ever use a douche, as the twatee is a brilliant, self-cleaning oven. The exception may be when a woman has sex with an unclean man and she feels physio-psychologically healthier after the douching routine. Very few women have ever seen, touched, or used a douche bag. Most American women don’t even say the words, not because they are naughty to say, but because it’s rather meaningless. Women don’t call people “douche bag”. The actual object, clean, sometimes useful, is very antiquated. It’s like calling someone a “telegraph” or a “ham radio.”