Shoot to Disarm, Never to Harm: Masked Man rides on

Juicy Planet was trolling around the alleys of Edgewater on a balmy summer night when we saw what appeared to be a black mask, rolling like tumbleweed in front of us, the yellow glow from the arches of McDonald’s helping it to be true. Sadly, upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a chunk of fabric, with foam stuff underneath, from the armrest of a Subaru. The image of the black mask remained, and we couldn’t think of anything else but the Lone Ranger, his face, is horse, his cornflower blue outfit, and Tonto too. Turns out, we were standing in the middle of Saint Gertrudes parking lot at this point, where Clayton Moore, who grew up to be the Lone Ranger on television, used to hang out and go ice skating. The nuns used to flood the ground with water in the winter so Clayton and his pals could skate…those nuns would’ve gotten a TV show today!

6254 N. Glenwood 60660

We were told by a neighbor, who asked not to be identified, that Clayton Moore was born and raised at 6254 N. Glenwood. Clayton once met Hollywood’s original Tarzan, Johnny Weissmuller, at a Chicago swimming pool, while Johnny was training for the 1928 Olympics, where he was a gold medal swimmer. Clayton had been an athlete and flying trapeze artist, performing in the 1933 World’s Fair in Chicago, before heading to New York and Hollywood, starring in dozens of B movies before having the pleasure, in 1949, of becoming famous for hiding his identity behind a black mask, helping people out and taking off, with flair. Touched by the knowledge of his early bravery in pursuit of fame as well as his general loveliness, we ordered a hot fudge sundae with extra nuts and ate it on Clayton’s front steps.

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David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are my neighbors

david_gillian.jpg David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are in production of the X Files film sequel. Most folks in their late teens, early 20’s don’t have a clue about pop cultural significance of the X Files TV show. But there are enough people out there who will clammer to see another movie. X Files was a phenomenon in that it drew together conspiracy theorists, nerds, sci-fi fans, liberal, conservative, humanist and queer viewers into the underbelly of the connections between our criminal, political, and metaphysical realities. All before the world of ubiquitous cell phone, internet, or Bush Administration darkness would come to pass. It will be interesting to see how the upcoming sequel reflects these changes.

David and Gillian may be older but they are both looking super fine and loose in other new work. Duchovny has a hit new Showtime series, Californication. We were skeptical about it’s heavy use of predictable male fantasy stuff, similar to all the Entourage characters. But turns out that Cali is a much better-written series. It stays focused on the psyche of writer Hank, and his numerous insecurities and visceral, sexual exploits. It’s much less superficial than Entourage, which is also set in L.A. amidst agents and filmmakers. Hank and Karen give us delicious glimpses at human complexity, vulnerability, and believable sexual chemistry, while delivering lots of hot bods and naughty trysts. Californication lets us give a crap about it’s characters, maybe even the human condition, while Entourage is strictly a situation-fraternity, Hollywood-insider ride.

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Juicy Planet dreamt that Gillian Anderson moved in next door in the big blue house, the one with 2 dogs and the weekly Peapod deliveries. She had a lab set up in her attic and on starless nights we could see her weighing photographs and sometimes rolling foam curlers in her hair. She was wearing a long jean skirt, and some slippers. David Duchovny showed up with some rainbow sherbet, but she didn’t hear him knocking. gillian-anderson005.jpg