Buddha in Jefferson Park

Juicy Planet drove to the Jefferson Park neighborhood of West Chicago to purchase all the government stickers that are required to prevent $50 tickets from being plastered to our car windshield. After taking another wrong turn at Luna, we were struck by a delicious breeze, and couldn’t help but pull over to fully breathe in the intoxicating aroma of fresh marijuana being massaged and celebrated in vast quantities nearby but that the naked eye could not see. It was not the smell of reckless addiction or the random escape from human discomfort, it was the pure smell of friendliness, sexiness, and good humor.

We waited for someone to appear and beckon to us, but the only movement was in the distance, outside in an alley, where a tattooed man was cutting open a shipment of colored plastic beads, to be used, he said, to make other plastic things that particular shade of red. The man was kind enough to inform us that Gale Street was between the fabric shop and the McDonalds. Later, while peeling off the back of the Chicago city stickers, which never come off once you put them on, we thought about the Buddha, and wondered if he had smoked marijuana, and also about how attachment to someone has to happen first, before one can practice the detachment part and get any good at it.

Booted!

Curtis guides us through the dark, secret, lucrative village of kidnapped and forsaken cars, in search of the shiny valiant Jetta. (5 mins.)

By Wendy Jo Carlton, Brenda Schumacher and JuicyPlanet.com

City of Chicago reaps $10 million yearly by holding cars hostage

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click for the city’s new cameras that will find you even faster!

If you choose to own a car, and then perhaps even drive it, do not park it. Just pay a companion to ride with you to run your errands, do your shopping, and make your doctor visits. Companion drives around while you pick up peanut butter, or open wide. Companion may also pull over and idle car at a park, church, parking lot, cemetery, until you are ready to be picked back up. This way, your car will never again get ticketed for expired meter, loading zone, sudden snow in a snow lane, etc.

It’s also worth noting that paying $18-27 for a paid parking lot or garage is much much better than fooling yourself that you’ll just be half an hour at your optometrists office, as the meter is only good up to half an hour, and inevitably, the doctor runs late and when you return in 39 minutes, you have a $50 ticket on your sad sad windshield. It then turns into $100 in just 7 days and next ya know, the city wants hundreds of dollars of your hard earned cash because of a few dinky meters time expired while you were dropping loads of $$$$ into the Chicago economy by shopping or being serviced, plus the hundreds more in city sales taxes, which are nearly 9%…

Juicy Planet strongly believes that current city policies are unfair and unethical. Currently, if you have just 3 unpaid parking tickies, the city legally (not morally) will BOOT and then TOW your property. Then, assuming you want the car back, you cannot pay anything online, but must go to the DMV. If you don’t have enough money, you can apply for a hardship payment plan, plus cough up $250 cash, before your property will be released. If you are not a student, unemployed, or receiving social services (and can prove it), you will not get your car back, the city will sell it, and you have no recourse. This is about parking tickets, not drunk driving, not speeding, not manslaughter…We wonder what happens then.