When hands and feet get awfully cold, like frozen fish thawing on the counter at room temperature, they don’t like to be touched. They are afraid of breaking into smaller pieces. Sometimes frostbite gets so bad that the pain switches to a blessed numbness, but that only lasts for a football quarter or so, and even though the numbness helps, the dexterity is clearly compromised, leading to dropped snaps, fumbled hand-offs, and interceptions. We believe there will be a higher percentage of rushing calls in what will be -20 below Zero Lambaugh Stadium on January 20th. January 20 also happens to be JP’s birthday, so Brett promised he’d win it for old times sake, plus an icy fresh halftime kiss on the lips.
Eli Manning and the Giants may have played many times in crappy cold and muddy conditions, but Brett Favre and the Packers live in Wisconsin full time (if you don’t count the 5 months they live in Florida, Hawaii, Acapulco). The Bears whipped the Packers in brutal frigid weather last month. But this time, the Packers are at home and, Juicy Planet is told, Favre is taking extra measures this time to keep his arms and hands in better working order. Someone saw him filling his gloves with Bag Balm at a Mobile gas station and some players will be drinking cayenne pepper and ginger tea before the game.
We like the Giants, the East Coast’s answer to the blue collar sensibility of the Packers, but Strahan and gang will be going home for the season by 9pm Central Standard time.