Green Bay Packers beat Giants on January 20, coldest day of the year!

brett_snow2.jpg When hands and feet get awfully cold, like frozen fish thawing on the counter at room temperature, they don’t like to be touched. They are afraid of breaking into smaller pieces. Sometimes frostbite gets so bad that the pain switches to a blessed numbness, but that only lasts for a football quarter or so, and even though the numbness helps, the dexterity is clearly compromised, leading to dropped snaps, fumbled hand-offs, and interceptions. We believe there will be a higher percentage of rushing calls in what will be -20 below Zero Lambaugh Stadium on January 20th. January 20 also happens to be JP’s birthday, so Brett promised he’d win it for old times sake, plus an icy fresh halftime kiss on the lips.

Eli Manning and the Giants may have played many times in crappy cold and muddy conditions, but Brett Favre and the Packers live in Wisconsin full time (if you don’t count the 5 months they live in Florida, Hawaii, Acapulco). The Bears whipped the Packers in brutal frigid weather last month. But this time, the Packers are at home and, Juicy Planet is told, Favre is taking extra measures this time to keep his arms and hands in better working order. Someone saw him filling his gloves with Bag Balm at a Mobile gas station and some players will be drinking cayenne pepper and ginger tea before the game.

We like the Giants, the East Coast’s answer to the blue collar sensibility of the Packers, but Strahan and gang will be going home for the season by 9pm Central Standard time.


Giving up hope worked! Soldier Field Chicago 12.23.07

click Freddie Mercury quotes The downtrodden 07 Chicago Bears no sooner gave up their season and their professional pride, when from out of bitter, dangerous Sub Zero temperatures and a Christmas time home game came a trouncing of the fabulous Packers. Brett Favre’s fingers nearly broke off as far as I could tell, as he dropped at least 3 balls before he could pass them off. We were hoping for a good game and an easy Packers win, as we love the 38 year old Favre. But we couldn’t help but get swept up in the “Bear Down, Chicago Bears” theme song chanted by thousands in attendance.

It was so cold my eyeballs were afraid to look at anything. Half of Soldier Field, those in the upper decks, left before half time. It was so cold my body would not pee. But it was worth staying until we could dance, on scrunched up and frostbit toes, to Queen’s “We Will Rock You”, and enjoy the thrill of hearing the cheerful voices of the mostly male, straight, likely homophobic football audience singing in unison the anthem’s lyrics, written by the brilliant, beautiful, and queer, Mr. Freddie Mercury. see Freddie Mercury videojp_bears_windchill.jpg