Bargains of a lifetime

Juicy Planet went looking for signs of the revolution in Lower Manhattan but instead found a meat grinder and some crisp blue plastic shoes we didn’t know we needed til we saw them. The items, in combination with a head full of Snickers and a bonfire of Zoloft and green tea leaves, are now manifesting compassion for lie-face politicos, fair weather friends and lazy lovers. Starting. Now.

thanx to photo contributor cdh

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chicago bears green bay packers: why do i care less?

see proof of the power of giving up hope! orton.jpg I like to root for my home team, wherever I happen to live. In football, I grew up wanting the Detroit Lions to win, then the Seattle Seahawks, then the Chicago Bears. But somehow, my teams always end up acting like they are self-defeating manic depressives. Am I bringing my powerful psycho-vibe to town? Am I more powerful than ever in this way? Can I invert the formula, get the team to believe the opposite, and make myself rich like them, I’ll take that money backwards…         img14655_t.jpgThe Bears need a Zoloft IV drip and some time reflecting on how blessed they are to be set for life as multi-millionaire elite (male) athletes. If that doesn’t work, hearing 30 thousand former fans cheer on the Green Bay Packers today may re-arrange their collective brain chemicals (includes all coaches) and they will start playing like the team of merry Elves I know they are, getting things done and making kids happy. Sometimes it feels real good to abandon all hope. It’s a powerful thing. Try it!