Tom Waits for no man


While cleaning out our car to try and find the receipt for a wedding gift (clock) we  needed to return so we could pay our dentist bill, Juicy Planet discovered instead a  ticket stub from a 2002 Tom Petty concert (Grand Rapids), a reddish piece of soft glass that did not want to be found, a good half pound of pretzel salt (once swept), and a photograph of Tom Waits, minding his own business on Rush Street in Chicago on some cloudy afternoon when he couldn’t pretend he wasn’t him and we couldn’t pretend we didn’t care that he was the kind of guy who can charm and stun a heart in a hundred kinda ways before breakfast. We went where he just was and ordered a mocha. Juicy Planet is keeping the clock.


Our Kelly is who we thought he wasn’t

According to Juicy Planet insiders, alleged pop star & willful womanizer, R. Kelly, was seen tucking a BLT sandwich with extra lettuce into the right side pocket of his suit jacket outside the Cook County Criminal Court in Chicago this past week. Kelly was standing between buildings on California Avenue trying to get some lunch privacy away from the throngs of media and various and asundry fans, former fans, former lovers, future litigants, plus a smattering of Cook County government workers who had no idea what the fuss was all about as they snuck cigarettes on another “coffee run”.

Clearly unnerved by low blood sugar, Kelly threw his pickle spear down in frustration, showing more emotion than he had at any time inside the courtroom, where jurors with more productive but not more interesting things to do had been asked to decide whether the naked man urinating on the under-aged girl in the video they had to watch over and over again was the same clothed man sitting at the table in front of them acting as if he had never before seen the man in the video and indeed, since Kelly is known to be severely allergic to mirrors, it is understandable that he would not be able to ever recognize himself. But that can’t explain the fact that whoever the man is, who looks just like Kelly does, is the kind of dumb guy who not only thinks it’s alright to abuse and scam people decades younger and much poorer than he is, but thinks it’s especially genius to tape himself doing illegal stuff. We sure hope they catch that guy.

Obama is not Kennedy, MLK, or Jesus: Hero worship not good for country or candidates

Juicy Planet has been told that Barack Obama is being given a free pass by the American media and many other citizens. While there has been an increase in cynicism and doubt about Senator Hillary Clinton in the past few months, there has been an alarming and unreasonable lack of scrutiny of Senator Obama.

bill_hillaryclintoncasual.jpgJuicy Planet believes that sexism combined with the puffing up of American youth as a demographic play big roles in the anti-Clinton tide, while racism and the cult of celebrity all play a large part in the do not mess with Obama wave. Both Democratic candidates are sharp-minded and strong in character. Both come from privileged backgrounds, are lawyers who attended Ivy League schools, and sport intelligent and ambitious spouses.

We should not be irrationally sanctifying Obama, nor should we allow the Obama hero fantasy characterization by media to go unchallenged. It is a danger not only to democracy but to the realization of progressive legal, economic, social and foreign policy changes we need, but this kind of Messiah worship is a danger to the man himself. Obama must be held to the same scrutiny as Clinton and McCain, for the highest office in the world. It will make for a more honest and healthy country. The thoughts expressed in this post will expire on March 5, 2008. Go Obama! Go voters!