There isn’t an answer to everything

After decades of unfunded research into human psycho-emotional sensitivity, spontaneous, sometimes suspect, transactions of love and memory, and the experience of a Baker’s Dozen of mysterious neurological and/or physical ailments and disorders which have caused various degrees of anxiety and paralysis, Juicy Planet is pleased to finally be able to report that there isn’t an answer to everything. Millions of sticky pages of intel, cross referenced and expertly seasoned, can be made available upon request.



little pea green boat!

2 minutes.

The owl and the pussycat went out to sea in a beautiful pea green boat. When they came back, Juicy Planet let them in and this is what they tried to say.

Colonial clock

When the water pipes started to freeze no one was the wiser. It started first down by the potato bin, where all eyes were on the achy shaping of liquid into solid, which turned the outside of the pipe from dirty metal to blue to blue grey, until it looked like the dusty uniform of a captured Union soldier in the Civil War. They had left their house in such a hurry, no one thought to leave a faucet on slow drip. No one knew that winter would come so early or that they would be stranded in Barbados for weeks. By the time they returned, the goldenrod ranch house they had inherited, with Aunt Pat’s colonial clock above the stove coated with hamburger grease like it had been for sixty years, was nothing but a mouth-watering fantastic candy-coated slick-sharded sinking sugarpop write-off…Superman in quicksand.quicksand

The Moses frequency

heston Juicy Planet has been receiving slippery but persistent messages from UHF channel 52 on our black & white Panasonic TV, of various clips of Charlton Heston near naked on the beach from the film, The Planet of the Apes. But as it turns out, this scene cannot be found in the actual Hollywood movie! It seemed at first to be Heston in between takes while filming the movie in 1968, but it has now been confirmed that what we are watching is an actual live feed of Heston, enjoying the pretty beach with his empty machine gun.

The original story of human hubris was written by French author Pierre Boulle, in 1963. The Statue of Liberty, which can be seen toppled and eroding in the background in some future, was a gift to the United States from the people of France. In the hope of minimizing the kind of dang regret depicted, Juicy Planet is actively trying to decipher the meaning of these recurring beachfront broadcasts, before the U.S. government strips the juicy public atmosphere of free analog television transmissions and sells the airwaves to corporate bidders on February 17, 2009.planetapes5

Ever the liberator on Earth, whether as Moses, Ben Hur, or Chairman of the National Rifle Association, Heston appears in the transmissions to be the one in need of saving, not from slavery and human greed but from loneliness. We shall watch and wait with our hands raised to see if perhaps the kiss of Zira or some other lovely sane and peaceful creature will make any difference for our protagonist.

Vienna at Christmas time

A Merry Gents Christmas Drive-by, by Yummy Yumma!

CLICK here for latest Xmas song! Merry Gents Drive-by!

From the upcoming album of Christmas favorites, “Our Traditions are Better”, performed by the Midwest popular song stylists, Yummy Yumma.rabbitsings1

ode to Patrick Chan

And on the sixth day of the Juicy Planet flu
it was the ever-so-kind and thoughtful spammer
who remembered us in our suffering
persistently encouraging us to feel better soon through various
get-rich-quick-while-helping-others opportunities (see incredible offer below!).
For this we are grateful and offer in return the following Poem:
bold fake Patricks
with the will to reach out to so many
will never know your true worth
being never known or loved by any
“Patrick W Chan” <>
To: undisclosed-recipients
Good Day,
I have a business of US $24.5million for you to handle with
me from my bank.Please contact me for details.   Patrick Chan.”