Tom Waits for no man

While cleaning out our car to try and find the receipt for a wedding gift (clock) we  needed to return so we could pay our dentist bill, Juicy Planet discovered instead a  ticket stub from a 2002 Tom Petty concert (Grand Rapids), a reddish piece of soft glass that did not want to be found, [...]

There isn’t an answer to everything

After decades of unfunded research into human psycho-emotional sensitivity, spontaneous, sometimes suspect, transactions of love and memory, and the experience of a Baker’s Dozen of mysterious neurological and/or physical ailments and disorders which have caused various degrees of anxiety and paralysis, Juicy Planet is pleased to finally be able to report that there isn’t an [...]

little pea green boat!

2 minutes. The owl and the pussycat went out to sea in a beautiful pea green boat. When they came back, Juicy Planet let them in and this is what they tried to say.

Colonial clock

When the water pipes started to freeze no one was the wiser. It started first down by the potato bin, where all eyes were on the achy shaping of liquid into solid, which turned the outside of the pipe from dirty metal to blue to blue grey, until it looked like the dusty uniform of [...]

The Moses frequency

Juicy Planet has been receiving slippery but persistent messages from UHF channel 52 on our black & white Panasonic TV, of various clips of Charlton Heston near naked on the beach from the film, The Planet of the Apes. But as it turns out, this scene cannot be found in the actual Hollywood movie! It [...]

Vienna at Christmas time

A Merry Gents Christmas Drive-by, by Yummy Yumma!

CLICK here for latest Xmas song! Merry Gents Drive-by! From the upcoming album of Christmas favorites, “Our Traditions are Better”, performed by the Midwest popular song stylists, Yummy Yumma.

ode to Patrick Chan

And on the sixth day of the Juicy Planet flu it was the ever-so-kind and thoughtful spammer who remembered us in our suffering persistently encouraging us to feel better soon through various get-rich-quick-while-helping-others opportunities (see incredible offer below!). For this we are grateful and offer in return the following Poem: ————————————— you bold fake Patricks [...]

Inverted Stepford Wife-ism taking toll on Golden Rule

  Juicy Planet has been put on ORANGE ALERT due to the curious socio-medical condition whose origin has been traced to the DNA of females born and raised into the American upper middle, lower upper, and middle flyweight classes. The disease, popularly known as the Inverted Stepford, seems to take hold in female subjects in early [...]

Nobody puts Baby in a corner, Helen Shiller

The City of Chicago has a big heart when it comes to summer outdoor movies in it’s bountiful parks. Most of the films are rated PG, whether they’re current, like Transformers, or classics, like All About Eve. However, on August 21st, 2008, when Juicy Planet showed up full of glee at Cricket Hill-Montrose Harbor, with [...]

Jesus falls the third time

Juicy Planet is pleased to announce that there are many more people who care about the well-being of others than there are the ones who claim spiritual-enlightenment but who in reality treat those who are hurting, or anyone different from themselves, with disregard or disdain. We will try to not let the sad machinations of [...]

Craigslist Free item of the week: flip flops

Barely used. Size 10. Must pick up before 6pm.