Forgotten, except for this post: Rhode Island

Mentioned only 3 times on United States television in all of 2007, with all major broadcast and cable news networks combined, this inchworm of a state prefers to remain below the radar of political and social messiness. Just 37 miles wide (Seattle to Tacoma) and 47 miles long (Downtown Manhattan to Asbury Park, NJ), Rhode [...]

Angelina Jolie and Sandra Bernhard holding the world up

In the dream, Sandra Bernhard was holding a red metallic mini-disc recorder. She wanted to record herself remembering her dreams. We knew we were already inside one of those dark mortality dreams, with that “I’m gonna be dead someday” feeling. Sandra and I were both scared, our faces and necks getting hot, like fever. Sandra [...]

Juicy Planet guest post of the week: Obama, Clinton and the Little People

CLICK here for entire essay: EMPTY SUIT VISITS THE LITTLE PEOPLE, by Mark Nickels EXCERPT: Cintonistas and the GOP have relentlessly brainstormed for ways to frame Barack Obama to the media and the little people who are, per Hillary loyalist Paul Begala, the sole arbiters of his political fate. Bob Dole snarled about Obama that, [...]

Obama, Clinton, and the American perversion of the testes

As the 2008 U.S. Democratic Presidential primaries continue to roll themselves out like artificial turf over the natural sod of the American psychic landscape, Juicy Planet is perplexed by recent and frequent references to the gonads of male human beings, as they may or not relate to Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama’s perceived personas and [...]

Hillary Clinton wrote me a letter

Juicy Planet is enthused to finally understand that money equals access to opportunity! After contributing $25 to the Hillary Clinton campaign, in a euphoric, generous state of mind after some dental work, Juicy Planet has been invited by former President Bill Clinton to maybe attend a special concert by Sir Elton John in New York [...]

Juicy Planet Guest Blab of the Week: Clinton or Obama, Who’s Better in Bed?

by field correspondent Mr. Randall TeVelde Choosing a presidential nominee is not like picking a brand of peanut butter, or a pilates class, or a place to eat. Or is it? It’s tempting to say that president-choosing is pretty much its own thing, like the way choosing a college is its own thing. But, really, [...]

I hugged Hillary Clinton in a hotel this morning

In the dream, I was spending a weekend with George Clooney and some of his buddies somewhere in a snowy Midwest ski area, where no one was skiing they just wanted to be able to ski if the mood struck. George invited me to stay with him in his hotel room after meeting me on [...]

chicken pot pie for every citizen!

Juicy Planet predicts that when the Democratic U.S. President takes office on January 20, 2009, there will be a chicken in every pot, a pot pie in every hut, insurance cards in every wallet, and queer and underpaid citizens with equal rights and opportunities on every block. Hillary Clinton’s favorite food: olive burger Barack Obama’s [...]

Republican governors better not cheat this time: Democrats bring out the shine

Juicy Planet predicts that Hillary Clinton will win the majority of Ohio and Texas delegates tonight, but that there will be some confusing counts for Texas due to Texas’ caucus/primary set up. Then there is the Super Delegates issue. It will be a very close race, close enough to have many voters feeling suspicious about [...]

Obama is not Kennedy, MLK, or Jesus: Hero worship not good for country or candidates

Juicy Planet has been told that Barack Obama is being given a free pass by the American media and many other citizens. While there has been an increase in cynicism and doubt about Senator Hillary Clinton in the past few months, there has been an alarming and unreasonable lack of scrutiny of Senator Obama. Juicy [...]

Clinton still in the race; Jack Nicholson thinks she’s best for the job

Jack Nicholson likes both Clinton and Obama, but prefers Senator Clinton. CLICK to hear Jack talk about Democrats and upcoming election

Suspicious of Clinton bashers: either Dem will be super fine!

Juicy Planet believes that regardless of your preference for the next U.S. President, the rampant sexism and irrational Clinton-bashing witnessed in all forms of media is an opportunity to acknowledge the misogyny and sexism that is pervasive and destructive in this great, but tragically flawed country. Whether you vote for Clinton or not, how we [...]