SuperDawg Hot Dogs get their day on the TV (for better or worse) Obama loves ‘em!

Maurie, Flaurie Berman! (the hot dogs who wear caveman clothes and want you to eat them) @Superdawg a Piece of Classic Chicago myfoxchicago.com/dpp/good_day/s… They were on the TV in Chicago Monday Morning. FYI, it’s the french fries that should have the last word, they are the real deal. http://www.superdawg.com/menu.cfm

Inverted Stepford Wife-ism taking toll on Golden Rule

  Juicy Planet has been put on ORANGE ALERT due to the curious socio-medical condition whose origin has been traced to the DNA of females born and raised into the American upper middle, lower upper, and middle flyweight classes. The disease, popularly known as the Inverted Stepford, seems to take hold in female subjects in early [...]

Angelina Jolie and Sandra Bernhard holding the world up

In the dream, Sandra Bernhard was holding a red metallic mini-disc recorder. She wanted to record herself remembering her dreams. We knew we were already inside one of those dark mortality dreams, with that “I’m gonna be dead someday” feeling. Sandra and I were both scared, our faces and necks getting hot, like fever. Sandra [...]

Donna Newton for U.S. President 2008!

Lovely queer lady decides after much lounging and little doubt, to make a serious run for President of the United States of America 2008. Stay tuned for details!

Juicy Planet guest post of the week: Obama, Clinton and the Little People

CLICK here for entire essay: EMPTY SUIT VISITS THE LITTLE PEOPLE, by Mark Nickels EXCERPT: Cintonistas and the GOP have relentlessly brainstormed for ways to frame Barack Obama to the media and the little people who are, per Hillary loyalist Paul Begala, the sole arbiters of his political fate. Bob Dole snarled about Obama that, [...]

Obama, Clinton, and the American perversion of the testes

As the 2008 U.S. Democratic Presidential primaries continue to roll themselves out like artificial turf over the natural sod of the American psychic landscape, Juicy Planet is perplexed by recent and frequent references to the gonads of male human beings, as they may or not relate to Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama’s perceived personas and [...]

all immigrants on a juicy planet

Juicy Planet got quite thirsty watching the May 1st march for undocumented immigrants rights in Downtown Chicago and so decided to drop by Wrigley Field for an ice cold overpriced Budweiser draft on the way home. It just so happened there was also an afternoon Cubs game underway versus the Milwaukee Brewers. Starting pitcher Carlos [...]

Laurie Anderson taught me to whisper through barbed-wire

Juicy Planet stared at the bottom of Laurie Anderson’s new red shoes, as Laurie talked about voice sampling with violins, Julien Schnabel films, what O Superman really means, and how birds had something to do with how human memory began. On the bottom of Laurie’s left shoe was a white, worn-down, rectangular price tag. Her [...]

Bargains of a lifetime

Juicy Planet went looking for signs of the revolution in Lower Manhattan but instead found a meat grinder and some crisp blue plastic shoes we didn’t know we needed til we saw them. The items, in combination with a head full of Snickers and a bonfire of Zoloft and green tea leaves, are now manifesting [...]

Obama best candidate for Internet and Tech geek freedom and progress

Barack Obama best for internet and technology freedom and progress CLICK on Uncle Mike’s exclusive report above for Juicy Planet readers!

Hillary Clinton wrote me a letter

Juicy Planet is enthused to finally understand that money equals access to opportunity! After contributing $25 to the Hillary Clinton campaign, in a euphoric, generous state of mind after some dental work, Juicy Planet has been invited by former President Bill Clinton to maybe attend a special concert by Sir Elton John in New York [...]

Juicy Planet Guest Blab of the Week: Clinton or Obama, Who’s Better in Bed?

by field correspondent Mr. Randall TeVelde Choosing a presidential nominee is not like picking a brand of peanut butter, or a pilates class, or a place to eat. Or is it? It’s tempting to say that president-choosing is pretty much its own thing, like the way choosing a college is its own thing. But, really, [...]