SuperDawg Hot Dogs get their day on the TV (for better or worse) Obama loves ‘em!

Maurie, Flaurie Berman! (the hot dogs who wear caveman clothes and want you to eat them) @Superdawg a Piece of Classic Chicago myfoxchicago.com/dpp/good_day/s… They were on the TV in Chicago Monday Morning. FYI, it’s the french fries that should have the last word, they are the real deal. http://www.superdawg.com/menu.cfm

The ping pong ball

It was the dream the old man had before. The one with the river and the floating that felt so damn good. Beneath his body was a rubber inner tube and his arms and legs hung lazily over the sides of it. On the side of the tube was a cartoon of a smiling big-headed [...]

Colonial clock

When the water pipes started to freeze no one was the wiser. It started first down by the potato bin, where all eyes were on the achy shaping of liquid into solid, which turned the outside of the pipe from dirty metal to blue to blue grey, until it looked like the dusty uniform of [...]

The Moses frequency

Juicy Planet has been receiving slippery but persistent messages from UHF channel 52 on our black & white Panasonic TV, of various clips of Charlton Heston near naked on the beach from the film, The Planet of the Apes. But as it turns out, this scene cannot be found in the actual Hollywood movie! It [...]

Vienna at Christmas time

Inverted Stepford Wife-ism taking toll on Golden Rule

  Juicy Planet has been put on ORANGE ALERT due to the curious socio-medical condition whose origin has been traced to the DNA of females born and raised into the American upper middle, lower upper, and middle flyweight classes. The disease, popularly known as the Inverted Stepford, seems to take hold in female subjects in early [...]

Flaming Finger will not be put out, even with beer

CLICK here for exclusive Flaming Finger Soundtrack – 30 sec. Sometime in the near past, Juicy Planet was swooped up by an un-forecast-able Midwest tornado, and was sleepily set down again in the middle of an electrocutionist’s drunken indoor carnival, except without the good food (see below). In the center quadrant, near tingling seductive games [...]

Forgotten, except for this post: Rhode Island

Mentioned only 3 times on United States television in all of 2007, with all major broadcast and cable news networks combined, this inchworm of a state prefers to remain below the radar of political and social messiness. Just 37 miles wide (Seattle to Tacoma) and 47 miles long (Downtown Manhattan to Asbury Park, NJ), Rhode [...]

Donna Newton for U.S. President 2008!

Lovely queer lady decides after much lounging and little doubt, to make a serious run for President of the United States of America 2008. Stay tuned for details!

Our Kelly is who we thought he wasn’t

According to Juicy Planet insiders, alleged pop star & willful womanizer, R. Kelly, was seen tucking a BLT sandwich with extra lettuce into the right side pocket of his suit jacket outside the Cook County Criminal Court in Chicago this past week. Kelly was standing between buildings on California Avenue trying to get some lunch [...]

Juicy Planet guest post of the week: Obama, Clinton and the Little People

CLICK here for entire essay: EMPTY SUIT VISITS THE LITTLE PEOPLE, by Mark Nickels EXCERPT: Cintonistas and the GOP have relentlessly brainstormed for ways to frame Barack Obama to the media and the little people who are, per Hillary loyalist Paul Begala, the sole arbiters of his political fate. Bob Dole snarled about Obama that, [...]

Obama, Clinton, and the American perversion of the testes

As the 2008 U.S. Democratic Presidential primaries continue to roll themselves out like artificial turf over the natural sod of the American psychic landscape, Juicy Planet is perplexed by recent and frequent references to the gonads of male human beings, as they may or not relate to Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama’s perceived personas and [...]